Third Time is My Charm

 You know that feeling after sucking on something so cold that you squint your eyes and pull your shoulders up to your ears and... oof maybe hold on to your forehead and cover your eyes? This is the very feeling I felt as a child. As did my siblings. Maybe, and, perhaps- you too.  Sad movies... "are you crying?" "are you crying?" *giggles* Yes. We are all crying. Except you Dad with his belly on the floor. Mom making sure we weren't crying... Kids scattered on the couch digging into the bottom and top cushion of the long couch for some kind of comfort. Comfort: engulfing. embracing. holding. gentle. cry. safe.  Let your brain freeze for the moment- you are more than the feelings that blow with the breeze    

 What a deceitful word; The word "attraction".  Grounded in my commitments and obligations from birth. I am attracted to your freedom. My perception of your ability to be free.  You are so free.  Can you free me too? Attraction, You are but the biggest distraction. I am easily swayed by, and blown with the leaves, that whither in seasons from the roots you are.  There is no holding in the wind as you and I are blown. Roots, I hear the wind from above the ground that I'm now in, and perhaps, have seen before. Plant yourself. You will be just as rooted as the evergreen tree and ever more. 

 Two planks of sheetrock and a couple of 2x4 standing pieces of wood is not enough to hold back my ears- from hearing your tears.  Not enough paint to cover the walls that cover the sheetrock and muffle all of your tears that I so desperately wish to catch of yours over the years. I am tempted to ask who suffers more... The listener or the sufferer. I dare not ask. Not anymore. We are all the sufferer.  Dear Holder, There is always space in the arms of you, dear Holder. In the heart of yours... a Holder. Within and fully encompassed by you, the Holder.  I want to hold too.  Dear Healer, I don't know you. You are but a dream and one of beautiful hope. Do you hold while you heal? or just hold?...  or just heal? If anything, please do both for my daughter.